Eulogy for my parents

Eulogy for Anne and Ed Travis –  By Kit Muehlman

Opening

Thank you all for coming together to help say goodbye to our parents.  It was such a surprise to learn how they left.  Some of you saw the sensational and inaccurate headlines on newspapers and TVs.  But the overwhelming response has been understanding and compassion.

When I was booking my bereavement flight, the agent was stunned to hear I’d lost both parents.  He asked whether it was an accident.  “No accident” I told him. …….. Then he said………. “your parents loved each other very much”……. 

Mother and Daddy would have been married 60 years this Thanksgiving.  They built a life with devotion and commitment and nurtured four children in faith and love.

Mother and Daddy truly cared for each other in sickness and in health.  By leaving for the Great Beyond together, they sidestepped the .“till death… do us part”, clause..  May God receive them with boundless compassion and understanding.

Daddy was my hero, always a strong, steady presence.  He was born into prominent family in North Carolina, but preferred to work behind the scenes calm, rational, and helpful.  I could always rely on him………. Daddy could fix anything.

 

I’m going to tell a story for my brother, Edward now.  When Edward was 8 or 10, he saw a squirrel get run over in the road, and ran home to tell Daddy about.  Daddy asked when, and Edward said it was just now.  Get it quick, Daddy told him.  Now, we all thought Daddy could fix anything, so Edward ran to get the squirrel.  Remember that Daddy grew up in farming country in North Carolina in the 20’s and 30’s and he knew what to do with squirrels.  Edward brought the squirrel back, and Daddy skinned it, cooked it in the backyard, so Mother wouldn’t know………. and ate it.   He was a very kind man, but also a practical one. 

Daddy had an important job, designing factories and paper plants, and he enjoyed making and inventing things in the basement.  He loved the outdoors, and he knew where all the food plants in the neighborhood were, persimmons, apples, pecans, and muscadine grapes.  He loved walking his dog and meeting neighbors.

Daddy nursed Mother back to health after three nervous breakdowns. It must have taken everything he had during those times, to keep the family going, work, and maintain his marriage. I was 6 and 12, and I knew life was different, but had total trust that Daddy had everything under control.

Daddy had a quiet dignity, and we learned from him to trust life, to be content.  He was so composed that when Mary was learning to drive, and in a huge, totally empty church parking lot.  Well, she sideswiped a light pole, and Daddy didn’t scold, or say anything.   We could count on him to be calm and kind.  He lived his life with a sense of wonder and a sense of duty.  I believe he has no regrets.  He made the most of every day God gave him.

Mother and Daddy loved God and their Church.  Mother grew up Methodist in Ohio, and became an Episcopalian when they moved to Atlanta.

We never doubted Mother loved us.  She showered us with helpful suggestions, and more often than not, we’d have to admit she knew what she was talking about.  She was a homemaker who was intellectually curious.  She and Daddy read books and magazines every day.  She didn’t enjoy cooking, but made wonderful traditional dinners, including our favorites, mashed potatoes and her awesome pound cake.  Mother was dedicated to raising four children who could take care of themselves and make their own contributions to the world.   Together, they sent all four children to college.

She nursed Daddy back to health after two near fatal accidents. 

The second happened here at Holy Trinity about 10 years ago.  Daddy was changing a light bulb and fell 28 feet to the marble floor.   Some said angels had carried him down so that he survived.  But he was seriously injured, and said there hadn’t been enough angels. When the doctors asked for a picture of him for his facial reconstruction, Mother said “I don’t know whether to bring a picture of Robert Redford or Paul Newman.

 She lived simply and loved feeding birds, gardening, and creating beauty with needlework.  One of her greatest passions was charity work, and she taught us it is better to give than to receive.  She was an active elementary school parent, and played the fortune telling witch at my Girl Scout Halloween party -  I didn’t know until years later.  Among her papers was a long list of charities she supported, and she was a steady volunteer at churches.  Prayer and studies of the nature of God sustained her.  Her greatest passions were her life with Daddy, and her never ending love for her children and grandchildren. 

Closing 

I am so grateful for all that my parents taught me.  From Daddy, I learned how to be practical, flexible, industrious and full of wonder.  From Mother, I learned how to find beauty in everyday living, and to share my spirit with community.  They were faith in action.  May God receive them in everlasting peace and divine love.

Thank you all for your expressions of love and understanding and for your prayers and many kindnesses.

Aspiration in Half Handstand

Blessing:

Sitting comfortably and steadily, bow your head to your heart, and honor the many seeds of aspiration there.  May this practice give us the guidance to recognize our highest dreams and aspirations.  May the breath of the Universe expand our vision.  May our practice give us the strength and devotion to live our aspirations, wisely and compassionately, for benefit of all.  May we act wisely and compassionately, without grasping at result, without attachment to the fruits of our actions.

Ardha Adho Mukha Vrksasana (Half Handstand at Wall) with Muscle Energy and Shoulder Loop

Start in a short Down Dog with heels at the wall.  Inhale and expand with possibility.  Be sensitive to the seeds of aspiration in your heart, your heart’s deepest desires.  Draw strength from the earth into your fingertips, up your arms and into your heart.  Curl the bottom edges of your shoulder blades into your back to support the back of your heart.  Float your chin a little to open your heart’s desires even more.  Spread your toes to hug your leg muscles firmly to the bones.  Contain the energy in your legs with your leg muscles.  Keeping that, step your feet up the wall to make an “L” shape.   Draw strength from the earth up into your heart. Hug your legs together to contain and channel your energy.  From the highest aspirations in your heart, curl the bottom edges of your shoulder blades in and extend your heart’s desires to the earth.  Strongly extend through your legs to expand even more.  Let the breath of the Universe fill you.

Keeping the strength in your arms and legs, smoothly step back down to the earth.  Step forward to Uttanasana (Standing Forward Bend).  Bow to your heart’s desires.  Listen.  Soften any hardness around your aspirations.  Just do your best, and release any attachment or hardness around results.  That’s yoga.

Gratitude in Savasana

Savasana  (Yoga “Corpse Pose”)

Lie Down. Align your body symmetrically on the floor to align with it’s natural flow to renewal.

Take a deep breath and release into the solid support of the earth. Pause

Receive the breath and soften.   When we soften to our humanity, when we soften to our vulnerability, we are truly open to receiving.  When we are truly open to receiving, the Universe finds specific ways to assist us.  Our open hearts fill with gratitude.   Pause

Release and relax into the comfort and safety of your yoga friends and teachers. Pause

On your next breath, imagine a wave of gratitude flowing over you, starting from the top of your head and flowing all the way down your body, down your legs to your feet, and the tips of your toes.

Receive the warmth on your face and soften. Pause

Soften your heart in appreciation, easily, naturally. Pause

Relax in gratitude, calmly, peacefully. Pause

Every breath takes you deeper and deeper,

Breathing in peace with every breath. Pause

Offering your inbreath to your outbreath

And your outbreath into your inbreath. Pause

Deeper into softness. Pause

Receiving…. Pause

Releasing Pause

Easily Pause

Naturally……..

Silence until time to emerge from Savasana.

 

 

Coming out of Savasana

And now, while your body is still relaxing on the floor, prepare to come out of Savasana.

Take a deep breath and relax, calmly, slowly, gently. Pause

Your body is completely loose and relaxed and soft.

Remember all the gifts,

Take another deep breath. Pause

And notice where the stretch might want to start.

Now go ahead with a gentle stretch,

Moving the stretch all the way to your fingers and toes. Pause

Bend one knee and then the other. Pause

Keeping the softness, roll to your right side for several breaths Pause

Feel the support of the earth, and let your heart soften in gratitude. Pause

Slowly, gently, keeping your neck relaxed and using both hands, press up to a sitting position. Long Pause to allow for movement to sitting.

Now from the bottom of your heart, if it feels right, gently release the fruits of your practice, offer the merit and virtue of your practice to those near and dear to you, to friends and acquaintances, and to beings you haven’t met.  Offer your practice to your family, and the world.  May we all live the gift of deep gratitude.

I give thanks to all my teachers, and my teachers’ teachers, and to all present here and now.

May our gratitude soften and open our yoga.

From the light in my heart, I bow to the light in yours.

 

Namaste                         Kit Muehlman  11/20/08

Balanced Action in Down Dog

May we open to the present with softness and strength.  May we relax to the present moment, especially if it’s not the moment we expected.

May we use our strength with kindness, our discipline with flexibility.  May our efforts be in service of joy, beauty, and happiness for all.

Asana: AdhoMukhaSvanasana – Downward Facing Dog

From “hands and knees”, come into the general shape of the pose, and upside down “V”.  Slightly bend your arms and legs, and find the softness inside.  Moving from softness brings joy and beauty to all our efforts.  Keeping the softness inside, straighten your arms and legs, slowly, kindly…….Bend your arms and legs again, and as you move, just notice your consciousness, find the floatyness of your upper arms………With a soft heart, straighten again, making a generous shape.  Float your chin slightly to soften your heart.    From your heart, send your appreciation for your body down your arms, into the earth.  Draw the support of the earth back up your arms, re-soften your heart.  Lengthen through your tailbone and extend with strength through your heels.  Breathe into the spaciousness of the moment, and softly, slowly, come back to hands and knees.